Releasing in labor
Each one of us will experience birth in profound, different ways. We all perceive the journey differently and there is no right or perfect way to its unfolding. Our bodies choose. There is a common passage that happens in the last stage before pushing, for most women. A release and letting go. Not all will have this but for those who do, I see it as a necessary part of transition by moving the birthing mother into the realm of the final stage of birth. This letting go allows the mind and body to release pent up emotion, expectations, built up tension, into a sort of implosion. It may look like a fit, giving up, ranting, struggling, getting angry, going into seclusion, even begging to be rescued. The catch is, it is YOUR work.
Crying, moaning, screaming, swearing, thrashing around, moving quickly, hitting or pounding our hands. Stomping, splashing in the water. Saying mean things or bursting out words we don't mean. Talking loudly to ourselves or even getting angry. This may all seem scary or even harsh to witness but it is all normal. It is a processing of the final moments before the new mother and baby emerges. A way of reworking the mind and its limitations to accept and move forward. And if you have not had a baby prior, I say this because labor is indeed hard work. Each birth and woman will have different sensations. The transition phase can be absolutely difficult and intolerable for some, while others breeze through it.
The mother should be allowed and encouraged to flow in the way she is called to, moving through the feelings and releasing built up tension, even barreling through her. This is the height of the birth process and a very important milestone for many as it signals to those watching, that the emergence of the mother is in the making. This release is the unfolding of one's raw self as the baby is coming forth.
When no one saves you, it encourages this strong intuitive transition and release to unfold in its own way. This morphs into a wave of grounding, lightness or even immense power, that pulls you back to the job. Because again, the end stage can take your breath away. It can feel like too much, too quick or too powerful for you. Many beg for it to end or to get a break. This stage does not tend to last long. Sometimes a few minutes or up to an hour. No one can do the work for you or walk through this for you and your baby. No supporter, guide, doula, friend, nor partner or husband. I often encourage spouses to let the mother be on her own for a short bit to release. No birth workers should intervene for this short stage of work. A mother often chooses a bathroom or bedroom in seclusion to process and vent. She will come back into her being.
As the mother feels her baby shift and she starts to push, there is a reminder that her baby is almost here. That all this work was for this moment. And after the birth, mothers will often say - When that was happening and you let me just be, I saw you smile with reassurance. You didn’t take away from my feelings or efforts. You were just there for me, which reassured me I was safe.
We have to remember to trust the process of a mother’s movements and intuition. This in turn, empowers and builds back up the purpose and heart of why your womanhood is here today. Listening to her is what matters. Encouraging her process the motions as it will yield an influential and potent beginning into her mothering. Certainly all moms should feel like super woman going into this next phase of life! The more positivity the better!